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Post by noreenc on Apr 3, 2007 19:40:26 GMT
Any ideas on nail biting? I have two kids who nail bite and it drives my crazy, I have tried everything and they still won't stop.
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Post by sandidune on Apr 10, 2007 11:24:28 GMT
My mother used to nail bite (but her nails never looked bitten!!) Then I started. Been a nail biter all my life and most of the time I'm wearing false nails because I hate the look of bitten nails. Last year, for no reason, I stopped, and I have lovely nails (I'm 43)
As a child, my mother and family tried everything to make me stop. one aunt bought me a manicure set every christmas to encourage me to stop. My mother put "stop n grow" on me and it tasted awful, so I used to pick a slither of nail,then chew it, that way I couldn't taste the stuff. I was threatened with everything, bribed, compared to others with gorgeous nails, but I just couldn't stop.
I've also tried to pin point if there were reasons I did it - I found none. One silly senario where I do bite is ...if hubbie is watching football (which I have no interest in) I nail bite, can't explain it - I would have no interest in the score, who wins etc.
As with most things, the more you tell a child not to do something - they do it. And there is an element of comfort from nail biting, similiar to the comfort from a soother or blankie.
I don't have any quick solutions to this problem - I did a "Google" on the subject the some suggestions are:
Find out why they do it - it can be a sign of anxiety or stress
Ask if they would prefer to stop (but cant)
Offer incentives
Give them something to occupy their hands
Give them an alternative i.e. worry beads to fiddle with.
Whatever you try - I hope it works.
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joanne
Chatty Parent!
Posts: 110
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Post by joanne on Apr 11, 2007 21:45:29 GMT
I was never a nail biter - loads of other habits - but not that one Noreen - nor do my kids! Found Barbara's experience very interesting - its true the more you force 'anyone' not to do something - the more inclined they are to do it!!
Anyway did a bit of homework on the subject and according to Tony Humphrey's book - All About Children- Questions Parents ask, he has a whole section on nail biting.
What he says and I quote ' Metaphorically, nails are weapons and when children or adults bite their nails - what they may be psychologically doing is 'biting back' their anger. Children who nail bite may cleverly have learned how threatening it is to express their anger and so symbolically they 'blunt their own weapons'. The biting helps to use up some of the anger. (I have no idea if this makes sense for you or not).
As with all habits Noreen look for three things; the frequency, intensity and duration; And so what Tony may be saying is check out your children's reaction to anger (not just fighting or shouting) - but 'honest' anger. What is your response to it - are you passive or aggressive?
Like all 'challenging' behaviours - when parents can see 'behind' the behaviour and understand whats happening for the child - a resolution is often found and the behaviour disappears - naturally.
Hope these suggestions are of help to you.
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Post by noreenc on Apr 12, 2007 22:17:00 GMT
Its true I have tried everything and nothing has worked, I would even say it has even got worse.
You know when i read what you wrote Joanne - I couldn't make sense of it but the more and more I thought about it, it did make sense. All of my children have had a terrible year with the separation and all and while my oldest son seems to have released all his anger out on me the other two have been much quieter. I'm not sure where that leaves me but I think I might have found a starting point from which to at least start addressing this issue. Thanks.
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Post by workingmum22 on Apr 29, 2007 23:01:08 GMT
Hi noreen Just wondering if you were able to stop your kids from nail biting - would love to know as my Husband does it and it drives me crazy.  |
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joanne
Chatty Parent!
Posts: 110
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Post by joanne on May 5, 2007 21:05:11 GMT
Hi workingmum - just a tip ! To change any habit - it takes (according to the psychologists ) 21 days ! By that they mean that it takes that long to move a behaviour over from your unconscious mind - to your conscious mind !
So for 21 days you have to become aware of your habit and stop yourself everytime you find yourself doing it. So that after 21 days - you will not do it automatically - you can make a conscious decision as to whether you continue it or not ! Hope this makes sense to you and your hubby - and by the way it does really work - and I can speak from experience! ;D
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