New Challenge for this week # 2

[Admin]

As part of our Parent Coaching Programme - one of our key foundation stones is Unconditional Love! And unconditional love means that no matter what our child does or says - we love them just because of who they are.

So what we are suggesting this week is to avoid labels or comparisons ! There is an expression we use which says that an

"act of comparison is an act of rejection".

So see your child as the individual they are - avoid labelling them (bold, shy, too wild, destructive, quieter / noisier than a sister or brother, very bright / not bright, the perfect child, a demon etc). Children always know (as we do ourselves) when they are being loved for themselves rather than for what they do or say.

So give it a try and let us know how you get on. ;D

[noreenc]

love the idea of having challenges for the week - i have noted what you suggested and have put it up on my fridge - will let you know how i got on.

[neasaod]

I have always hated labeling too. A boy who lived beside us was labeled a "brat" by my neighbour. I thought it was awful and she even went so far as to relay a story to me of him being accused of stealing (said item turned up where it had been left but SHE didn't tell me that bit) I was raging, I remember saying to my hubbie that if a child is continiously accused of being something that eventually he's going to say "What the hell, I'll be blamed for it anyway, I might as well do it" I struck up a friendship with this boy as I got to know his Mom. To this day (they have moved away) I send my postcards from holiday addressed to him and his Mom says he still asks for me. He was the nicest boy when you took the bother to get to know him. I always go for the underdog

[joanne]

Gosh what an amazing story Neasa - says a lot about you too !!! You're right - labels stick !! And often a person's indentity is hidden by that label to the extent that they either become it or fail to see themselves as the amazing individuals they are.

[workingmum22]

Its strange that you should talk about 'labels' - because in my family I was always known as the 'fat' one !!! Thats because I had a sister who was tall and really skinny (still is) and I felt I was always being compared to her!

And the wierd thing is that even after all these years - it still hurts me when i think about it. And so for years I was always on a diet etc but of course nothing worked and it was only when I got married that i felt I was 'good enough' for someone.

But I can tell you there will be no labels in my family - it causes too much hurt. What a great reminder Joanne. Thanks.